The Road Less Traveled – Janice Coyle

Life has presented us all with the demand to make a choice between one possibility and another.   It can seem so difficult.  We see perils in each, advantages in each. Like many people, I believed there was one “right” choice, the choice that would lead to my soulmate, the choice that would lead to my “destined” work, the choice that would lead to fulfillment.  The other choices would be wrong.  So, how do you know which one is right?

Looking back on my life, I reflect on the many choices I’ve made, choices that sometimes were later judged “good” or “bad.”   But now I think differently…

Decisions, decisions – Choosing where I will live.

I’m thinking now of the choice I made to move back to Virginia when I retired from the insurance business.  I was then living in Los Angeles only 4 miles from the beaches that I loved.  Many weekend days were spent walking along the edge of the lapping waves.  The contemplations and meditations there seemed broader, more cosmic – like the grandness of the ocean.

Many things I loved about Southern California, but the air pollution affected me and I felt an inner urge to find somewhere else to live.   I traveled to Sedona, Arizona, Northern California, Ashville, North Carolina and finally, Northern Virginia, where I had lived most of my life before moving to California.  Although the decision was not easy, I decided this was the place.  There were relatives there and I had always loved the rolling hills and lushness of the foliage in Spring, Summer and Fall.

Is this the “right” choice?

Despite the familiarity, my destiny in the other cities seemed more certain.  Moving here I felt a strong sense of stepping into the unknown and also stepping backward.  During my 12 years in California, I had attended numerous spiritual retreats, and evenings with many teachers.  I felt like a different person than the one who left Virginia in search of these experiences.  Would this different person fit in?

I settled in Vienna, Virginia and started attending a Unity Church to find friends.  I became a staff member and met many lovely people including my current husband!  I was invited to speak at a nearby Unity Church and I started teaching spiritual classes.  With this choice, I have found incredible support for my new life as a teacher, speaker and writer.

What would have happened if I had chosen to go to Sedona or Ashville?  There would be other people, other experiences, maybe a different husband.  The possibilities are infinite. So was this the right choice for me?  What is “right” anyway?

Is there a “right” or “wrong” choice?

Perhaps you feel you made a “bad” choice because of the painful experiences that resulted.  Maybe you felt something that led you on a road toward the unknown.  You decided against the road that you could see for many miles as it wandered here and there in a tranquil valley. This road looked easy, pleasant and safe, or so it seemed.

Instead, you chose the one that quickly disappeared into a forest leading up to mountains.  This road twisted and turned into places of mystery and peril. It seemed to be anything but predictable and easy.  Instead, this road promised excitement, adventure, even danger.

And so by trickery and persuasion, you were led to choose the uncertain, more difficult-looking road – the one that seemed to be less traveled – the one that seemed “right”.   Or, you chose a more certain one, the one that looked likely to lead to your “destiny,” so that was the right one.  Or, you chose the one that everyone was choosing – that must be the right one.

What if every choice, whether seeming safe or reckless, was a step into the unknown?  What if we are courageous travelers in consciousness stepping into the unknown when we wake up every morning?  What if every decision in every moment is filled with potential danger, excitement, revelation, joy, or sorrow?  What if all possible choices are equally reflections of ourselves?   What if every road we choose has never before been traveled by anyone?

Does it really matter which choice we make?

The many decisions I have made, some seemingly safe and some admittedly reckless, have all been exquisitely valuable.  They have led me to where I am now.  Other decisions may have led to other “Janice” experiences.  But I now know they would have been equally effective to my growth in wisdom.

In reflecting on my life, all experiences have led to more and more compassion, wisdom and peace.  Now, I have more respect for the hero in me and in all of us.  We forge ahead on unpredictable paths whatever the “choice.”

There is no “right” choice and no “wrong” one either!

Looking now from a bit higher up the mountain, I have come to believe there are no right or wrong choices.   Each choice will lead to experiences in consciousness.  Each choice will bring joys and sufferings. Each choice will attract people, roles, experiences.   Each choice is a marker leading up that winding road to a higher level of self-knowing.

And, most importantly, each road is travelled by ME.  I have brought myself to each road.  And I’ve learned that the state of my being has determined what my experiences will be.

It has been a long journey, but I have finally learned that the person or place chosen has not been the determining factor in whether I have fulfillment, misery, or joy.  It has been what I have brought to the situation that determines that.  It is my own character, my state of self-love, my lack or prosperity consciousness, my victim or victor consciousness, my connection or not with the Source of my being.  These are what determine my fate, whichever road is taken.

And so now looking back, I clearly see there were no wrong choices.  Every road, without exception, has moved me along by a greater Guide. Each possible choice, therefore, was equally “right” for me.  None of my choices were “wrong” – none of them!

Can you see why I am more at peace now?

And one more thing:

I once felt like a coward because I sometimes chose the road everyone else had taken.  But guess what? I now know that every road of life I am capable of choosing is unique and “less traveled.”

Why?

Because every road I can ever travel, is traveled by only one person – me!

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